An Old Order Kind of Day

My heart is heavy today. I’m having a “old order” kind of day. A much loved niece suffering with leukemia, one friend dealing with the effects of cancer, another friend’s seven year old son died after a long bout with cancer, another friend died on the operating table — watching my family and friends dealing with being betrayed and let down by those they should be able to trust the most – and these just scratch the surface of a world that is suffering from its own fallen nature.

Sometimes I want to rare my head back and scream, “ENOUGH!” But you know what, it’s okay to feel that way. It’s not anti-Christian to be frustrated with things. It doesn’t mean I don’t trust God. One of my pet peeves is funerals that are all celebration with no acknowledgement of the fact that death stinks and we feel lost sometimes – or people that are quick to rebuke mournful frustration as though it were sinful.

[pullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Read the Psalms, read Lamentations, read about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, it’s alright to be frustrated with the effects of a fallen and broken world.[/pullquote]

But, as heavy as my heart is, as homesick as I feel for a place I’ve never been, there is more to the story. As the refrain of the old sermon says, “It’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming!” Things feel a bit dark today but I know this isn’t all there is, reality is much more than I can see now. John described this, “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’”

My heart aches today, but I know it won’t always ache. I won’t always mourn for loved ones that are gone, or loved ones that suffer, or even my own suffering. These are “old order” problems, they won’t always be around.

My Grandma Cash has been gone for more than a decade now but she was a woman of great faith. She used to get “blessed” from time to time, as we called it.

[pullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]She’d get so happy in the Lord that she would start shoutin’ and testifyin’ about how good God is and how much the devil is a liar.[/pullquote]

One of the phrases she’d shout was “He’s still on throne!” She’d run around the house and look at me and shout, “He’s still on the throne, Mark. Don’t ever forget it!” Man, I miss that. But her words ring true today, her voice echoes in my aching heart and mind. He IS still on the throne! He sees me, he sees you, and the “old order” things, they ain’t gonna last long, they’re passing away.

I’m shouting too, Grandma, He’s on the throne. I know you see him face to face now, you tell him that I believe it and I won’t forget it. I believe it even when I don’t feel it!